Alright, I really didn’t want to say shit about this whole Cardi B WAP business – I’m not typically one to hop on trends, which you’ve probably gathered since I’m constantly decked out like its 1987. That being said, I couldn’t bite my tongue after reading one too many comments about how folks are being critical of her because she is doing something that apparently ‘hasn’t been done before’, which is a woman owning her sexuality in a blue manner that has apparently been solely reserved for male artists in the past. Maybe this is something new for rap music, although I do recall that neck/back/pussy/and-my-crack bit making the rounds not too long ago, but I digress. My point is, if y’all wanted women talking about fucking for the sake of fucking, y’all probably should’ve started listening to heavy metal years ago.

Lemme introduce y’all to a badass bitch named Wendy O. Williams. This chick was metal personified, and she wasn’t candid about her love for sex in the slightest. Hell, she opens her first solo record with a track literally entitled I Love Sex (And Rock ‘N’ Roll). If that wasn’t enough to pique your interest, get a load of these additional track titles – Bump And Grind, Put Your Love In Me (Plasmatics), and my personal favourite, Fuck That Booty. Not much is left for interpretation there, eh?

Though Wendy O. is inarguably the queen of sleaze, I want to give a massive shoutout to Sally Cato. I’ve written about Smashed Gladys before, but if ya missed it, they were a female-fronted sleaze metal band that lived up to that moniker. Legs Up, Lick it Into Shape, hell, even in their track, Sermonette, they flat out state “We did it to get laid!” Top this off with the fact that their album art literally depicts Sally getting boinked by a skeleton cowboy, I mean… Sex, man. Pure sex.

I could go off about this shit for days, but legit all y’all really need to do is lurk about all those big haired babes of the 1980s. Lorraine Lewis sang all about “waiting for the big one” when fronting Femme Fatale; Samantha Fox, likely the most metal non-metal babe of all time, made a career out of sexualizing herself. Women have tapped into their sexuality for decades, especially in the realm of heavy metal.

I didn’t decide to spew all this out ’cause I have a personal vendetta against Cardi B or rap music, either. Women can sing about whatever the fuck they want to, we’re obviously people too! I just wanted to point out the fact that heavy metal has always been an incredibly progressive music genre (suck my invisible dick, Tipper Gore!) Metal fans are often viewed as ‘lesser-than’ – We’re a bit of an underdog in the grand scheme of things, y’know? But Wendy was a tough bitch singing about using dudes as fuck-toys long before it was in vogue, and Sally really gave those hair metal boys a run for their damn money when it came to being overtly sexual. I wanted to highlight these queens as they’re no longer with us, and as aforementioned, deserve to be championed for being way ahead of the curve. Women kick ass, and these were two of the finest. Trashy role models for a budding degenerate that I was, I truthfully wouldn’t be the woman I am today without ’em.