By the time I was sixteen I became actively avoidant of Mötley Crüe because I was sick and tired of folks calling me Nikki Sixx ’cause of my jacked, black hair. This was a dumb move (teen angst) on my part, Crüe rules and that isn’t really much of an insult (unless we are navigating Sixx:A.M. territory). I just took my hair metal way too seriously, and truth be told I’d picked up a teasing comb solely because of Lita Ford. I wanted looks that kill too, goddammit, and I wasn’t ready to dump a gallon of peroxide on my locks (yet).
Lita was important as hell to me, as was Joan Jett – Role models, really, although I never really wanted to pursue a musical career. I just dug the attitude these women held, they had (figurative) balls. My father always taught me that I wasn’t lesser than any man, and encouraged me to hold my own should any situation arise. This has resulted in me emasculating several male suitors throughout my life (oops), but I wouldn’t have it any other way y’know?
As mentioned, Lita and Joanie were the be all end all… Until my father, once again imparting his valuable wisdom, introduced me to Wendy O. Williams. Holy fucking shit is all I can truly say. There will never be another like her, and she truly was thee Metal Priestess. He gave me a copy of her first solo record (W.O.W.), and the moment I Love Sex (and Rock and Roll) kicked in I knew this woman was no fucking joke.
It left me wondering what else was out there that I’d been missing – What other babes were out there waiting for me to aspire to become them? I’ve compiled a little list here of the female dominated albums that shaped my youth. This is by no means a definitive list of what is out there, shit, I don’t have that much time! And before anyone gets up my ass, I’m omitting the obvious ones because if y’all aren’t down with Doro by 2019 then it is unfortunately too late for you.
SMASHED GLADYS – Social Intercourse (1988)
I was first introduced to this sleazy masterpiece at the ripe age of thirteen. I had been thrifting with my dad when he found this vintage tour shirt and said “Okay, I’m buying this for you. You don’t know this band yet, but I know you will love it.” I was making eye contact with a skeleton decked out in cowboy boots givin’ it to some busty, raven-haired babe from behind. The name of the tour was ‘Dyin’ For A Piece‘, written on the back in baby pink lettering over a red-leather clad ass. Goddamn, this was sleazier than all the deep cut hair metal shit I had been worshipping at the time, and I couldn’t wait to dig in deeper.
If y’all are familiar with Mötley Crüe’s video for ‘Too Young to Fall in Love’ (which I sincerely hope you are), then you’ve already caught a glimpse of Sally Cato. Canadian born, she is likely the sleaziest front woman I’ve yet to stumble upon and I love her all the more for it. This album had an incendiary impact on how I viewed my own sexuality, I mean fuck. Here we have this badass chick with teased hair wailing on about how she just wants to get laid. No love-songs here, folks.
I love the shit out of this record. It is their second/final record, and though I haven’t really listened to their debut much, I know this release is a lot heavier (queue some angry metal guy’s comment about how sleaze metal isn’t ‘heavy’). I’d pair it with the more bluesy hair metal of the time – Think L.A. Guns… Maybe a better Faster Pussycat. Wasn’t into a lot of that stuff much, but I guess folks call it glam and maybe it is, maybe it isn’t. All I know is it has serious balls and Sally has pipes that kill.
- Years Active: 1984 – 1988
- Location: New York, NY
MEANSTREAK – Roadkill (1988)
Believe it or not, I do listen to other shit aside from hair metal, so all y’all folks that hate the glamorous side of things, feast on Meanstreak. According to the internet, they were the first ever all-female thrash band. Truth be told, I don’t really know much about ’em. Roadkill was their only release, and my god does it kick some serious ass. No, really, this shit is heavier than a lot of those garbage-y ‘cool-guy-deep-cut-’80s-nwobm-demos-that-sound-like-shit-but-are-still-all-the-rage-for-some-reason’. I don’t really know what else to say. Just listen to it. Like if y’all get down with Iron Maiden, Jag Panzer, or any other straight up balls-to-the-wall heavy metal, this is for you.
- Years Active: 1985 – 1994
- Location: Westchester, NY
ROUGH – First Cut (1988)
I stated earlier that I wasn’t gonna talk about Doro, so lets talk about a chick that sounds a hell of a lot like her – Anny Wichardt, lead vocalist of German heavy metal band, Rough. Not sure what it was about Germany in the ’80s, but some of the best metal came outta there. As soon as this album kicks in I get pure Accept riffs with Doro vocals. Can you believe such a thing exists?! Why the hell does this band only have one full-length album?!
Years Active: 1984 – 1989
Location: Mainz, RP, Germany
CYCLE SLUTS FROM HELL – Cycle Sluts From Hell (1991)
If the band name wasn’t good enough, please know that one of the stage names these chicks used was Venus Penis Crusher. This shit is so insanely bonkers that I can’t help but love it, and novelties aside the music kicks ass! Riffs are deadly, you’ve got guitar solos to the nines, fat bass, and massive choruses (vocals overall, I mean, four lead vocalists c’mon!) These chicks were just pissed as all hell and it rules. I Wish You Were A Beer became a personal mantra during my late teens. Bless this band.
- Years Active: 1986 – 1992
- Location: New York, NY
HELLION – Screams in the Night (1987)
Speaking of mantras, Bad Attitude by Hellion is another that I possess. Not unlike Sally Cato, Ann Boleyn has those raw, nasty vocals that I live for. Unlike all the other bands listed prior, Hellion actually has quite a few releases under their belt and were undoubtedly far more successful. I just couldn’t live with myself if I didn’t include ’em, ’cause damn. Just a perfect release from a perfect band. Pure heavy metal. All balls. Kind of want Ann to kick my ass. Just a complete and total powerhouse.
- Years Active: 1982 – Present
- Location: Los Angeles, CA
DÉTENTE – Recognize No Authority (1986)
Another example of chick fronted metal that is heavier than most of the shit out there. Recognize No Authority is a straight up speed metal assault, and though I may be repeating myself endlessly at this point, Dawn Crosby (RIP) was a total powerhouse of a woman. Totally unhinged, this shit got me through my dumb teen angst period. The Dirty Harry of thrash metal, just pure, unrelenting aggression.
- Years Active (w/ Dawn Crosby): 1984 – 1996
- Location: Los Angeles, CA
PHANTOM BLUE – Phantom Blue (1989)
So these chicks look like total barbies which is fucked up because they shred. Unreal solos, unreal vocals, like I fucking love Malmsteen and I would almost put this shit in the same ball park. Think Racer-X but all hot ass bitches (no offence, Paul Gilbert).
Years Active: 1987 – 1998
Location: Los Angeles, CA
CHASTAIN – Ruler of the Wasteland (1986)
Leather Leone is arguably the best female metal vocalist of all time, and I don’t like people that don’t like Chastain. When all the idiots I went to school with were hung up on Beyoncé, calling her the queen, I’d correct ’em. Leather was, and always will be, the true queen, ya dig? Ruler of the Wasteland is the definition of heavy metal.
- Years Active: 1984 – Present
- Location: Cincinnati, OH
Written by Breanna Whipple