2021 has finally come to a close, marking the end of yet another chaotic year full of unpredictability. I experienced a lot in the past twelve months. I moved into the city from the small town I had been residing in for the past seven years; More importantly, I ditched my crummy ol’ cleaning gig in exchange for a job in which I’d be selling movies and hanging out with my best buds on a daily basis. As you’d likely guess, my movie intake tripled and I’ve been exposed to a plethora of films I hadn’t even known existed. It has been a delightful, enlightening experience and one worth writing about. I figured it’d make sense to compile a list of flicks that left a lasting impression on me while working at a video store over the last 12 months.
CANNIBAL HOOKERS (1987)
Starting this off with a bang (pun intended), I gotta write about Cannibal Hookers. I’m not sure why, but at the tail-end of 2021, I went through a severe shot-on-video phase. Most of it is trash, but I cannot help but be intrigued by extra low budget flicks and what folks can do on a dime. Naturally, I’m a huge fan of any flick with the word hooker in the title, so when this came through the store I had to take it home immediately. Unfortunately for our regulars, this is one title that never had the opportunity to see the shelves because I loved it so much. There isn’t much to say about the plot – these are big haired, heavy metal looking hookers killing dudes and eating ’em. Bonus points for the Angelyne billboard at the start of the film! A great time capsule of Los Angeles in the late ’80s, to boot. Substantially better than Three On A Meathook (1972), by the way. What a let down that one was! Sorry to that one dude that owns a million copies of the VHS, I guess? Seems like *everyone* knows that guy!
WICKED WORLD (1991)
Okay, this might very well be the worst movie I’ve ever seen – still unsure if it has knocked Verotika (2019) off the holy grail of garbage or not yet. That being said, this movie is actually… really… fun? I suppose the film itself isn’t fun, but watching it with a group of pals was one of my favourite moments of 2021. I absolutely cannot believe something this terrible exists, and I love it so much. Another shot-on-video gem(?) from the director of Things (1989) – I know all of y’all heathens love Things, and fortunately it is mentioned at least twice for whatever reason in Wicked World. The soundtrack also slaps, features some heavy metal and also W.A.S.P. lyrics in the credits. If you’re interested in purchasing this title, we still have a mountain of copies left over – I’m just saying.
NIGHT OF THE DEMON (1980)
Let it be known that I watched this Bigfoot flick long before Severin went buckwild and decided to give this movie an absolutely insane release including statues and shit. This movie is absolute trash, but it stayed with me for a couple of reasons – Bigfoot rips a dude’s dick off, and the third act in the cabin is pretty damn cool and gnarly. The dick-ripping is so iconic that much of the merch Severin will be pumping out is focused on just that. I love how unhinged the pandemic has made us all, truly.
THE MANSON FAMILY (1997)
I’ve had a crush on Jim Van Bebber since I first watched Deadbeat at Dawn (1988) and I’m honestly outraged that I had no idea he wrote, starred, and directed a movie about the Manson family. It is really fucked up, too! I felt like I was on drugs, which is undeniably fitting given the subject matter. Now, this is exploitive as hell – shit gets really fucking gross at the end, and it also has some weird-ass copycat Manson garbage taking place in the ’90s as well which felt a bit off, but overall this flick really stayed with me. They were actually fucking and on drugs most of the time, so it took forever for ’em to make this movie. Given this information, I’m shocked at how well it came out. But yeah, not for the faint of heart but definitely worth a watch if you like feeling really shitty.
HARD ROCK ZOMBIES (1985)
THE UNDERTAKER (1988)
I’m a huge fan of Joe Spinell, like… I’d be totally fine with every single film being a Maniac (1980) ripoff, it doesn’t bug me that he was typecast at all. As you might’ve guessed, The Undertaker features a homicidal Spinell yet again, this time as a murderous undertaker as the name suggests. Something about Spinell just feels so sleazy in exploitation, and here is no exception. It is hard to praise this shit without sounding like a psycho, but this movie was gritty and grimy as hell, and I loved every minute of it.
THE DRONE (2019)
Y’all can’t expect me to price a flick about a drone possessed by a serial killer and not watch it! This shit was dumb as hell, but very fun plus the drone eventually kills someone by flying directly up their ass which I’m fairly certain isn’t possible. Alex Essoe stars as the lead, and she legit is one of my favourite modern women in horror. As aforementioned, stupid but fun. Gorier than one would expect!
STRIKE COMMANDO (1987)
The most American Non-American movie ever made. An italian Rambo rip-off, this shit has more explosions and terrible acting than anything else I’ve ever seen. Not a good movie by any means, but a highly entertaining one.
FLESH GORDON (1974)
Collecting pornography was an unexpected byproduct of working at a video store for me. Flesh Gordon was also a catalyst, an incredulous notion given that it was a customer that put me onto it. I had initally misheard her, brought her a copy of Flash Gordon (1980) to which she responded, “No, I mean the one with the dick spaceship!” – My life would never be the same. I didn’t rest until I found this glorious piece of fine filth, though I feel like I’m cheating given that I picked this up at The Lobby, a horror-focused video store in Edmonton, Alberta. But man, this was definitely a highlight of the year for me! So stupid, so fun. Living from the moment the pilot screams “I got a boner!” as his aircraft descends into oblivion.
HELLBENT (1988)
This movie honestly sucked shit and is only worth mentioning because it features a bunch of skeleton danglers (dangly earrings, for those of y’all that don’t dress like Return of the Living Dead extras). Because of this, I was absolutely delighted when I found my own skeleton dangler later in 2021.
So, there ya have it! Some standout films in a year when I watched more shit than ever before. My new gig has been great, and I’m honestly so thankful that I’m in a place in my life where I can constantly work with media I love. I’ve met so many people that are now the nearest and dearest to my heart, their impact on my wellbeing could never be overstated.
Despite being a mostly positive year, I also experienced some of the most painful things I have yet to encountered – I lost one of my best friends unexpectedly in the summertime, him being diagnosed with brain cancer literally days after we went to see The Amusement Park (1973) at the drive-in. I’ve been wanting to write about Ben, but finding the words to summate what he meant to me has been overwhelmingly difficult. I’ve experienced loss before, but never to this extent. I had met him through the video store, and we quickly became buds after discovering that we were both fans of garbage movies. Y’know, it is hard to explain the effortless connection niche film fans have a penchant for developing with one another. I think I had known Ben maybe a week or two before inviting him over for a beer, and it felt completely natural. We talked about a bunch of really deep shit, and it didn’t feel inappropriate at all because I honestly felt like I had known him my entire life. There hasn’t been a single day that has passed without him popping up into my brain one way or another, and while the pain of losing such a good friend stings like hell, I can’t help but be thankful that life led me to him while it still could. I’m thankful we got to watch Stone Cold (1991) together – Ben, who legitimately owned I believe 50(?) copies of Wild Hogs (2007) on blu-ray, saying “This is like Wild Hogs… but serious” about halfway through his first time watch will never leave my brain.
Feels kinda weird getting all heavy about shit, especially after writing about Flesh Gordon, but I think that just goes to show how special of a community ours is. We’re all bonded over some really peculiar shit, but it is undeniably the funnest media to consume. I am thankful for every day I get to consume, create, and share. Here is to hoping 2022 is full of those positive little things that keep us all going, one way or another. Love, light, and best wishes to you all. Let’s keep watching our beloved trash cinema now, eh?
Awesome list I’m deffo going to check out the cannible hookers!!!
Hard rock zombies was a blast though I prefer the song on the skate board montage ‘Na na na na’ to the cringefest that is Cassie (still had it on my iPod though back then).
Great reviews