Hey y’all! Not sure how much of an introduction this needs. We’re about halfway through December, so every film journo and their dog is pumping out a decade wrap so I’m drinkin’ the Kool-Aid, too. Now, before we get bent out of shape here… This is my list, I arguably have bad taste. It should also go without saying that I obviously liked more than what is included here, I had to trim down a novel of picks basically otherwise I’d be here all day… So, yeah, these made the cut. Make of it what you will!

MacGruber (2010)

Allow me to waste zero time kickin’ this off on the wrong foot. I tried to find another contender, I really did… I was thinking that maybe I should just go with Black Swan, after all it is a legitimately good film that I was deeply moved by… But I’d be betraying myself if I went with anything other than MacGruber, and I resolved to become a better me in 2019. This movie will never be anything but endlessly funny to my dumb ass. You’ve got Will Forte sporting a mullet, shovin’ a stalk of celery up his ass, ripping throats out like Patrick Swayze in Road House (1989). I’m just so happy this film exists. (35% Rotten Tomatoes score, I see you).

Drive (2011)

Now for a slight change of pace! Y’all… If Drive wasn’t one of your tops for the decade, I cannot help you. This was my first Nicolas Winding Refn experience and it inspired me to explore his filmography further, which I’m thankful for. Felt like fate, really. I’m a sucker for violence, especially when lit so beautifully that the juxtaposition feels nothing but raw and invigorating. Almost makes me want to go full cheese-dick and buy one of those scorpion jackets, but then I’d have to kick my own ass for full posing. I’ll never be as bad ass as Ryan Gosling in this film, and I’m just gonna have to learn to live with that.

The Paperboy (2012)

Another flick that was poorly received, and I’m honestly really puzzled by that. This is pure neo-noir, situated in southern Florida circa the 1960s and I live for it. This slow, steamy burn has a star studded cast including the likes of Zac Efron, Matthew McConaughey, Nicole Kidman, and John Cusack, but this by no means is the strongest link in the chain. I was deeply enamoured with the flawless set design and costuming, which is all I really ask for when it comes to period pieces. Closing the film with a conclusion that still haunts me to this day, I’m supremely bummed that more folks weren’t as moved by this incredible example of impeccable filmmaking.

Behind the Candelabra (2013)

Okay, so, biopics, right? I’m not sure if this was a hot topic in everybody’s social circles this year or just mine because I’m into hair metal, but the release of The Dirt (2019) brought the topic up an insurmountable number of times. Folks that dedicate themselves to music get pissy because they think the legacy of artists are better left alone, and I couldn’t disagree more. I’m captivated by the human experience, and a lot of these folks have lived pretty whacky lives. The Dirt wasn’t the best, but y’know what was? Behind the Candelabra, that biographical drama where Michael Douglas plays Liberace and showcases how abusive he was capable of being. There is really too much to say here, so perhaps I’ll leave it for a deeper dive in the future – But man, yep. Cinematic perfection, I will accept no arguments at this time. Thank you.

Nightcrawler (2014)

I love me a good character study, and that is exactly what we have here. Jake Gyllenhaal stars as Louis Bloom, a seemingly sociopathic con man that decides to dip his toes in the world of Los Angeles crime journalism. This film fell into my lap at the right time, as I had just finished binge-watching Shot in the Dark, a Netflix series that followed real folks in Los Angeles doing just that. This made me fall for Gyllenhaal, dude has serious acting chops (no shit, stupid!) and the story takes a turn I wasn’t quite expecting. Makes a good double feature with Drive, just sayin’.

Bone Tomahawk (2015)

I was late to arrive to the Bone Tomahawk party and I borderline hate myself for it. I’d heard it was a slow burn, so I was apprehensive given my ‘social-media-induced-ADD’ that is seemingly problematic for every millennial out there, but holy shit this grabbed me quickly. Violence. Gore. Cannibalistic cave dwellers. Kurt Russell with amazing facial hair. It almost made me want to explore more modern westerns, but something tells me this may be the best of its kind. A perfect amalgamation of drama and horror.

The Neon Demon (2016)

Surprise, another Refn pick! This may be my favourite of his. I love me a good industry flick, and this is just such a feast for the eyes that I can’t even stand it. Give me a seedy motel room with gaudy patterns and I’m wrapped around your finger. Keanu Reeves as a sketchy innkeeper? Um, yes. Those of y’all familiar with this movie are probably wondering why I’m even mentioning such a small piece of the puzzle, let me tell you – This movie is so gorgeously detail oriented that I cannot find a single snippet that I am incapable of drooling over. With its labyrinthine story progression, its two hour runtime feels more like two years, and I mean that in the best possible way.

Brawl in Cell Block 99 (2017)

Speaking of labyrinths, Brawl in Cell Block 99 is the ultimate. Prior to this, I had only seen Vince Vaughn in goofy roles, I wasn’t sure how he’d pull off a serious action film – He fucking NAILS it. Long story short, he finds himself in the Dante’s Inferno of prisons and shit gets twisted. Serving as a staple to literally every single film S. Craig Zahler has ever made, this baby is loaded with extreme violence. Ending had me in tears to boot, which is always good after being thoroughly disgusted by a bunch of relentless bludgeoning, y’know?

Game Over, Man! (2018)

There were a lot of heavy contenders for this year. Mandy, Cam, the Suspiria remake… But I’m going with this arguably very stupid comedy because I’ve revisited it a multitude of times and truly laugh my ass off each viewing. It straight up takes the boys from Workaholics and throws ’em into a Die Hard situation. It is unreal levels of fun, action packed, and I just dug the hell out of it – I’m a dumb bitch, I know.

Joker (2019)

This was a divisive film from the start, and one I hadn’t even considered seeing until folks began comparing it to the likes of Taxi Driver. Now, I’m not big on comic movies… I won’t flat out pull a Scorsese, I’m openminded I suppose, but it just ain’t my bag, baby. That being said, I’m so happy I forced myself to see this on cheap night. Y’all know how good 2019 was for film, this undoubtedly was my favourite and likely one of my top films of all time. A girlfriend of mine told me she didn’t dig it because it didn’t feel like a ‘Joker’ movie, which is exactly what I loved about it. Y’all just get to see Joaquin Phoenix spiral deeper into mental disarray. It humanized a villain, to the point where you almost feel sympathy for him. Simply put, this is a lush visual feast blanketed with an impenetrable, authentic atmosphere providing a powerful examination of mental health.