Y’all, I’ve made a huge mistake – an unforgivable error, really. You see, I decided to wait until the madness of Halloween season was over to watch my screener copy of Terrifier 2 (2022). I am entirely disgusted with myself, as it is apparently the greatest Halloween horror flick ever made. Everything you could’ve ever hoped for is here. Well, it was for me anyways. So while we may be quickly approaching Christmas, the antithesis of Halloween, I’ll be writing about Terrifier 2 anyways. Afterall, every day is Halloween according to Ministry (and every other cool person I’ve ever met in my 27 rotations around the sun!)

I could bore you by waxing poetic on the plot, but who watches Terrifier 2 for the plot? Y’all are gorehounds, I can feel it. This baby delivers tenfold on the gore, basically right from the get-go. I’ve seen my fair share of gnarly shit, but the kills in Terrifier 2 have a way of taking something you’ve seen before and then upping the ante by the thousands.

This movie is a pinch more than watching Art the Clown rip and tear his way through every sentient being that happens to cross his path, however. The family that is at the core of the plot is actually both relatable and lovable in its own dysfunctional way. A teen daughter, a preteen son, and a widower. Father killed himself in a gruesome way after a long stint of seemingly succumbing to an obsession connected with the crimes of Art the Clown. Following in his father’s footsteps, Jonathan (Elliott Fullam) is also serial killer obsessed. Mirroring the Dahmer mania we’ve seen since the release of Dahmer – Monster: The Jeffrey Dahmer Story (2022) on netflix this year, Jonathan wants to be Art the Clown for Halloween despite the distasteful nature of it. Feeding into local lore much like Scream (1995), many Art the Clowns are to be expected ’cause evidently the kids can’t help but be a little morbid.

As far as Jonathan’s interest in true crime goes, I could not help myself but relating to the stereotypes stapled to him because of it. Those who do not share his curiosities naturally pen him as a future serial murderer – an assumption that becomes glaringly false the more we get to know him. Had to stifle a moment in which felt like a personal attack – Jonathan’s interest in the crimes of the Manson Family snowball into a wormhole leading deep into the complexities of the horrifying events surrounding the holocaust. I’ve been on this journey, myself – around the same age as Jonathan, actually. Shit is fucked up, but y’all probably (hopefully!) know that already.

As aforementioned, Terrifier 2 is a Halloween horror flick which is easily the most sacred subgenre of horror. Furthermore, as an audience we are graced with all the wonderful things that accompany our beloved season. Haunts, costume shops, funhouses, and trick or treating are all environments in which we lay witness to Art doing his really fucked up thing in. You know what makes all of this all the crazier? It looks and feels like a high budget movie. Y’all… this is a real fucking movie. I’m not sure how else to put it. High production? Without cutting out the gratuitous gore that has become synonymous with the character? What the fuck, eh. As a Halloween-y bonus, let it be known that seemingly a significant inspiration was drawn from the classic, spooky novelty cereal, Count Chocula. As if this movie could get any better, right?

Juvenile delights aside, what I appreciated perhaps the most about Terrifier 2 was its ability to create a fresh legacy character that nods to all his ancestors. It really feels like Art the Clown was Frankenstein’d outta basically all the icons we’ve come to know and love. You’ve got a little bit of Ghostface, a litte more of Michael Myers, and in this flick, a whole lotta Freddy Krueger. However, it doesn’t feel like he stole anything from ’em. A line has been very clearly presented that separates influence from imitation. Art the Clown is truly his own brand of movie psycho, and Terrifier an underground legacy series we’ve been in desperate need of.

I want to call this a slasher, however the kills are almost too brutal to do so. This is a serial killer flick, which yeah, sure, all slashers are, but this? Feels more appropriate to recommend to fans of grimier horror like Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer (1986) or any of the other video nasties that came outta the scene in the ’80s. What sets Terrifier 2 apart, however, is its inclusion of serial killer mania. We all know a bitch that wishes Richard Ramirez invaded her bedroom and bit her to death with his fucked up teeth for whatever reason. Edginess, attention seeking, whatever. Art gets to experience a life where the shit he does isn’t really frowned upon, but glorified to some. Serial killers are hip, man. It’s Art time to shine, and it is all our fault.

Terrifier 2 feels like a gorier version of Stranger Things. It has a dream-like quality to it, somehow feeling like a fusion of ’80s and ’90s horror despite being set in present day. It entirely exceeded my expectations. The first instalment was known for its gory sequences, and this one will be, too – as mentioned, whenever you think the shit you’re seeing on screen can’t get worse, it does. That being said, Terrifier 2 has a lot to offer, gore aside. The characters have a realism to them (“I love these aggressive women of the ’90s!”), and the nearly two and a half hour runtime doesn’t drag a single minute. I cannot believe how good this shit was. Like is this the best modern horror movie ever made? Honestly… I think it might be. See this shit as soon as you can, and if ya wanna follow suit, I’ll be watching Terrifier 2 every single Halloween from this point onward.