Not unlike every other dirtbag out there, I grew up abusing the hell out of light beer throughout my teen years. Much to my chagrin, this would become a habit that would follow me into young adulthood. I never really thought much of drink mixing – How in actuality it is an absolute art-form. My personal catalyst for change came in the form of a queer horror expert/cocktail artisan, Garrett Ghostly. As if knowing every single thing there is to know about midnight movies wasn’t impressive enough, he has also perfected the craft of concocting the perfect companionship beverage for basically any situation, ever. As much as I would love to hoard the capabilities of my best friend for my own personal benefit, I mustn’t – Which is why I asked him to compile a list of cocktails to accompany all y’all horror-hounds this summer. Without further ado, allow me to let Garrett take over…
SHARK HUNTER’S OLD FASHIONED
A marriage of two New England staples; the Old Fashioned and the Cape Codder. Perfect for sipping on down at the harbor, plotting your revenge against the shark that nearly killed you two summers ago.
2 oz bourbon
2 dashes orange bitters
0.5 oz spiced cranberry syrup
Garnish with a lime twist and cocktail cherry
CAMPFIRE BURN
Smoke and chocolate; two notes you can find around any summer campfire. But this one cuts with orange, unlike the masked man in the dark woods, who prefers to cut with a knife.
1 oz Cointreau orange liqueur
1.5 oz Mezcal
3 oz fresh orange juice
Dash chocolate bitters
BLOOD BEACH COOLER
A bubbly, blood orange refresher, perfect to sip on as you skinny dip at the shore. Now, if only you could shake the sense of being watched…
2 oz gin
1.5 oz blood orange juice
Dash orange bitters
3 oz orange sparkling water
DEAD PIRATE
A twist on the classic Dark & Stormy, this tall cocktail will bring any sailor, pirate, or hula girl back from the dead.
2 oz coconut rum
8 oz ginger beer
0.5 oz key lime juice
1.5 oz float dark rum
THE TIKI BAR’S GHOST
Didn’t you know? A bartender died here once after slipping on crushed ice and lime wedges. Now she haunts the tiki bar, sneakily trading out patrons’ orders with her spooky signature drink.
0.5 oz coconut rum
0.5 oz quality banana liqueur
3 oz white rum
0.5 oz cream of coconut
1 oz lime juice
Dash tiki bitters
Mix in shaker, serve over crushed ice
HAWAIIAN PIZZA & HORROR MOVIES
Key to the perfect Saturday night in? Pizza, VHS tapes, and a stiff drink.
1 oz Campari
1 oz dark rum
1 oz white rum
0.5 oz simple syrup
0.5 lime juice
6 oz pineapple seltzer OR orange cola
As aforementioned, all cocktails were plucked solely from the mind of Garrett Ghostly. For more of his genius, you can give him a follow on Instagram (@garrettghostly) and Twitter (@Garrett_Ghostly). Drink responsibly, y’all!